A Night in a previous life

A night in a previous life, the Machete Incident

I have been writing about some of my experiences when I was younger. Married at 18 years of age, I was young and naïve, in love and soon trying to raise three children and cope with a text book abusive man.

Surviving and being married for nearly 20 years to a sociopath and manic depressive, physically and emotionally abusive partner took some education and skill to survive, this is just one of many nights that I learned some lessons for survival.

Learning the Ropes, a key to surviving an alcoholic, abusive relationship.

It’s the 80’s, the visions of the incident are sharp, I had been married for over 10 years by this time and was still hopeful for a resolve to the problems of alcohol, abuse and providing a happy home for my three children. There were still many more years of lessons to come.

Its 10:00 on a Thursday night, very warm out, I am still in my work dress, payday tomorrow, and just enough gas to make it to work, dishes need to be washed and children put to bed. My children are young 9, 7, and 5 years old.

No money until tomorrow, none for the bar, my husband Jimmy, tells me he needs to go right now to talk to Jerry Moon, his drinking, druggie buddy, who is a pretty good shade tree mechanic. I don’t want to leave the children and voice my concern, I have things to do to get ready for work at 6AM. That will not stop him if he wants to go. We average a new car every few years, usually totaled. Always financially struggling, I have to work and use this car, I need to drive, if I don‘t work we don‘t eat. I have to take him.

Children are quickly told to go to bed and we will be right back, he yells at them to get to bed, they know he will punish them if they don’t. Moon’s garage is only 6 blocks away, I know they won’t go to sleep until we get back and hope it’s a very short stay.

We enter and Moon is in the garage, there is a large Rebel flag on the east wall, Sweet Home Alabama is cranked up on the radio, Jerry Moon is a redneck, beer drinkin, smokin, hillbilly from Alabama, who will try any drug or method to get high, he will tell you so. He is sitting in his lawn chair next to the refrigerator, work cap on, long red hair and nicotine stained beard flowing. beer in one hand and non-filter Camel cigarette in the other, he is half way through his 3rd case of Miller for the day at this time of night. Moon offers us a beer, Jimmy and Moon begin talking about cars, bars, drinking beer, getting high. I am quiet as usual, hoping I wouldn’t get yelled at for not being social enough, not drinking, I just want to go as soon as possible, knowing what I need to get done at home before bed and work in the morning.

Praying and hoping this visit is just about the car and we take the ride home after a few beers. I am quiet, I’m very tired and want to go, I let my mind wander from their conversation. Looking at the beer that is left, between the two of them, we will be here at least an hour or more. It is going to be a long night.

Moon will get defensive when he gets down to his last few beers. Its quickly midnight, the tone changes between them quickly, Jerry is drunk, my ex has had quite a few beers by now, Jerry is getting concerned about how little beer is left, he wants Jimmy to go to Al’s and get another case. My ex is telling him we have to get going.

Moon, rarely has cash and will work for beer, Jimmy is trying not to argue, he is laughing, Moon is getting more agitated, Moon is a small man, alcoholic and three pack a day smoker for his 30 some odd years, and not a physical threat, especially drunk to anyone.

The conversation is getting hotter, Moon is weaving a bit, my ex has helped him finish the case, he wants us to go to Al‘s bar and get a six pack before they close, again, we have no money payday is tomorrow.

“Go get in the car” , Jimmy tells me sharply, I get up and get in the driver’s side of the car.

They are starting to argue louder, I’m in the car, in first gear, foot holding the clutch waiting for Jimmy to get in the car, at last going home.

Jerry gets up and starts walking around the garage becoming more and more animated, the heated conversation continues, Jimmy is getting closer to the garage door.

I am viewing this looking in the rear view mirror, Jerry reaches up towards the ceiling and pulls down a large Machete blade, several feet long, Jimmy motions forward for me to go, go, go, I panic, I start going forward, Jimmy is hobbling after me, limping, from a knee injury from a blackout car accident,.

I jam on the brakes, he jumps in, yelling begins, with a loud pinging bang, Moon hit’s the trunk of car with the enormous blade, more yelling at me, drive, drive, drive, then more yelling, all the way home,

I was glad it was only a few blocks to drive, walking into the house, looking behind our shoulders for Moon to pop up with the blade. More yelling, “what is wrong with you“, “you would let him cut me“. I know the children hear and won’t come out of their rooms.

Suddenly, I feel the sting across the side of my face, it was open handed at least, I could not say a word, I knew better, I knew to just let the rant blow over, he was drunk and the adrenaline was flowing, he had not eaten, always a bad combination.

I offered to make him something to eat, at least he might fall asleep. More yelling and then laughing, he thought it was very funny how Jerry acted. I gave him his sandwich with a smile, I go into the bathroom to survey the damage, swollen a bit, but doesn’t show. Whew!

I'm exhaused, tomorrow is payday, he will be gone to the bar tomorrow night. I gotta show my girlfriend at work the 4” slice in my trunk, she won’t believe me. Dishes will wait.

Its been a long hot summer

On the bright side, only a few weeks possible for this weather. Iowa is hot, steamy, rainy, heat indexes in the triple digits. Iowa is the air you wear. I hibernate most of the time.

Kids are going back to school and its time to start thinking of Halloween and Thanksgiving, and rut row!!!! Christmas Holidays.

One way to beat the heat is to do some early holiday gift shopping. Looking for Halloween costumes, the perfect gift for him, the perfect gift for her, you really need only shop till your drop. Uniquely, talented artisans of every kind and medium. I am always just blown away with the talent I am finding.


I never think anyone wants to know what I have to say, well by chance I have a few friends now on-line over the past few years and I think they peek once in awhile.

Exciting things are happening. My oldest is due really any day, for sure, baby Gianna, newest granddaughter will be here by the 10th of September, that makes an even dozen. Boy, do I feel old. It can be overwhelming, I am an only child, I always said I was not prepared for having three children myself, but they did survive it.

more later, this old cat is learning.

being a computertard

Well not totally, but pretty close. I have said it before, just show me where to click. So don't expect a fancy blog with all the bells and whistles just yet.

I'm still learning the on-line business game, found some very promising venues. Bonanzle and Zibbet are two now shops I am going to be opening in the next few months. Bonanzle, does have some listings up now. "catinalife" of course.

I am still very much active in my shops on Artfire, I have opened a destash store for my extra rocks and glass, (www.deStashNotTrash.Artfire.com) I am now doing so much more with wire, I really just do not need them, so if I can help another starving jewelry artist get the supplies they need, that is wonderful. PIF I always say, and boy do I have the rocks!

I have mastered the technique of Viking knit weaving with wire and adapted it to my own designs, as well as Egyptian coil swirl links, using lots of beautiful silver coated colored wire, they are turning out fantastic, you may see a few on the shopping cart below. Loving these ancient techniques, they do make some beautiful jewelry.

Its becoming a long winter and I cannot wait for spring, but the doves are cooing in the morning and no more below zero temperatures predicted so here's hoping.

If you are looking for a great Mother's Day present, and I do ship to England also, take a look, you might find some of mom's favorite colors.

Taking my life back

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month as well as Breast Cancer Awareness, My jewelry guild is graciously donating to the shelter that helped me when I first came to Iowa 16 years ago, DVIP, you can visit their site to find out about this great organization.

http://www.dvipiowa.org

I did take my life back, I will share a bit, I was married for 19 years to a text book physical and verbal abuser, in therapy I was told he was a sociopath, he was also a functioning alcoholic and drug user. I pretty much grabbed my kids and got as far away as I could on what money and transportation I had, wasn't far but far enough and yes, I had tried to leave many many times before. A lot happened over 19 years, enough to fill a book, I'm working on one at times and jewelry is my other therapy.

Domestic Violence is not an easy subject for anyone to talk about, it tends to be swept under the rug and brushed aside, ignored and hoped it will go away. It won't. If your in a relationship and are being abused it will escalate, if you have children, it will carry on, your daughters will continue in their relationships to be abused, your sons will become abusers, it is a vicious cycle that needs to be stopped and it can one home at a time. For information on what you can do to help or if you need help please seek help and get out, you can take your life back, you can be free, you are not crazy and he can kill you. There are many sites with tons of information. One of the best is www.domesticviolence.org

Please visit our Artfire Jewelry Designers/Supply Shops guild blog site and go shopping. AJDJSS. thanks for visiting.

http://www.ajdjssguildevents.blogspot.com/

Come check out the wonderful shops and items participating in this event, awesome jewelry artists and suppliers can be found. Thanks to all the shops that are participating in this event, it really warms my heart that we can do this, you have no idea, I feel I can give back all the help I was given. Thank you all.

Help us help.

My window to the world

I live in a very very tiny farm town in Iowa, when it is nice I am able to sit in my porch and no one sees me behind the screen. I watch the scenes in my little town unfold, sometimes everyday events, sometimes dramatic. My little brick house is set just a bit back from the road next to a church parking lot. This unfolded not to long ago.

Sitting on my porch

A car pulls up, parks in the church lot, which is not 50 feet from my view, a couple is inside.
I can’t really see inside, I hear voices. A loud discussion starts after a bit so I note the license plate, etc., I still cannot see them, a man and a woman from the voices. It gets quiet, it take a good ½ an hour before the officer arrives, the couple get out to speak to him, I see they are older in their 50-60’s. I can only ease drop on a bit of the conversation, but I gathered their daughter was there somewhere and they wanted to either get her or check on her, the officer agreed to do a “welfare visit”. I was imagining all kinds of things, really can get out of hand if I am not careful. Where was the girl, how old was she, was she in danger, did she run away, so many questions.

Believe me I did not move from the porch. Now I was being nosey, I wanted to see what happened. Another patrol car pulls up, both officers walk around the front of the church and disappear. The couple go back to their car and wait. In 20 minutes the officer comes back with a young teenage girl, maybe 18, but she was going home!!! I felt so good about that, the parents hugged her and no one was angry, the couple left with their precious child with them, I felt what a happy ending, she went home, and how terrible of a person that was that must have been harboring her.

A few days later I was doing working my other job, not my favorite one, (medical transcription). I did a dictation on a gentleman 72 years-old who was ill with diabetes, hypertension, depression. He was having a hard time with his 18 year-old grandson that lived with him and was so very distraught. Seems the grandson was in jail for being involved with a young girl!!!!! They were going to live together and the girl had been staying at their home.

Ok, now I admit, this was really strange, but it really made me think.

There are two sides to every story, if you stop to think about what is happening with a one sided view you may never know the truth of the situation. I finished my work and thought long and hard about these two stories and how my feelings were changed.

Smile for the day: Smiles are free

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three engineers buy only one ticket.

"How can the three of you travel on one ticket?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

Aboard the train the lawyers take their respective seats while all three engineers cram into the restroom and squeeze the door closed behind them.

When the conductor comes around collecting tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers are impressed with this clever idea. One the way home from the conference, they decide to copy the engineers' technique. At the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all!

"How in the hell are you going to pull this off?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They board the train. The three lawyers cram into one restroom and the three engineers cram into the other restroom.

Shortly after the train departs, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and knocks on the other restroom door. "Ticket, please